Commitments and Respect

I read an open letter last week from Sinead O'Conner to Miley Cirus stressing the importance of self respect to the young singer. When we fail to respect ourselves, we can't expect anyone else to respect us or treat us with respect.

We are professional women, we demand respect from others. 
We're horribly offended when someone else doesn't keep their commitments to us. 
So why, is it OK for us to fail to keep our commitments to the person we should respect the most? Ourselves.

We read a book or an article, or see something on the web or the internet and we get inspired to do something great for yourself like exercise, or walk your dog every day or meditate or eat better or get a pedicure once a month. 









But then we get busy with work, or the kids, or a girlfriend needs help or a parent gets ill or any number of other things come up and well... that promise we made to ourselves goes by the wayside. 




And then we feel guilty for not doing what we told ourselves that we would do, and so we make the promise again... and the cycle goes on and on and on.

It's not just doing better at keeping our commitments to ourselves, it's about respecting ourselves as much as we deserve.


When we commit to love and respect ourselves as much as we do our best girlfriend, it's easy to keep all those other promises that we make to ourselves.



What do you think? Do you deserve a little more R E S P E C T from your number one fan (you)? I'd love it if you'd share your thoughts in the comments below. 

A stress free way to start the day

What better time to reduce your stress level than before you begin your day? I was asked recently...

What would you recommend to business owners whom are stressed out with their businesses as a quick way to de-stress in the morning before they tackle the day?

I would definitely suggest a solid morning routine which includes some inspirational self care. 

Optimally, add 15-20 minutes to your morning routine, but if you can only spare 5-10 that will still help.

Optimally, you will have a space in your home that rejuvenates you. This can be your back deck or patio, a corner of your living room or bedroom, or even your bathroom if it is soothing and refreshing. 

Include some soft music, this can be while you enjoy your morning beverage (coffee, tea, smoothie). 

I also recommend lighting a candle, burning incense or a fragrance warmer to add some glow and pleasing fragrance.

If you meditate, this is a perfect time to do that as a start to your day.

This is also a great time to practice your affirmations.

Key elements to reduce your stress level, whether you meditate or not:

1. Be grateful for what you have right now. I'm not saying practice gratitude for what you envision having, but truly give thanks for some wonders you have in your life today, in this moment. Today that thing may be the opportunity to run your own business, or a great night's sleep, or a supportive and loving spouse, or really cushy bedroom slippers.
2. Have a notebook or scrapbook with some work you have done that you are especially proud of, that makes you feel you are doing your best work and look through these. Remember why you are doing this. Remember the purpose that you are meant to share.
3. Give focus to 3 tasks you intend to complete today. See how you will complete them and envision the impact you most desire from their implementation. 
4. (optional) Read a beautiful or inspiring quote or reading.
5. (optional) Have a funny/inspirational photo near your mirror to remind you how amazing you are.
6. (optional) MOVE! Put on a great song and let yourself sing out loud and dance around.

Now go tackle your day! Make it the best day of your life! 

I would love to hear your thoughts on the idea of adding this to your morning. 

Women are the worlds best jugglers

How true is that? 

• What woman you know doesn't do at least 3 jobs?
• Who makes it look effortless most of the time?
• Who doesn't get thanked enough?
• Who slowly and quietly gets more overwhelmed each day?
• Who seldom complains about the load she bears?

And of all the hats we wear, we are nearly always supporting, doing or caring for someone else. 

So, when do you decide it's time to take care of you? And if you ever make this difficult and guilt inspiring decision, who is it that does take care of you?

Run down the list of hats you wear in a typical day, or week, or month, and consider how those who are paid as professionals in each field demand to be treated and served. 

Chefs have dishwashers, most professions have secretaries, or assistants, some professions have entire staff to tend to things that are outside their expertise.

And you, a busy professional woman, do all of these, only get paid for one maybe two of them and insist that your needs can wait.

and wait...

and wait...

and wait...

But what happens when they can't wait any longer? What happens when you finally hit that tipping point? What happens when you burn out mentally, emotionally or physically?

People in your life will step up and pitch in and they will care for you. And then you'll feel even more guilty.

So what if you decided that taking care of you, self-care, that thing that you know you're supposed to do, but just never manage to get around to, was important. What if you decided that it was a priority? 

What if you could come up with a way to do that on a regular basis and not feel guilty? 

Impossible?

Maybe not.

There are a thousand little things you can do in a day to lower your stress level and take a little bit of self-care without neglecting your loved ones, your business or your ever growing to-do list. 

Here are a few to inspire you to do a little self-care today...

• Give yourself a mini facial - grab one of those sets of beauty products you bought but never took the time to use and do all the steps. Enjoy the glow and great feeling skin.
• Listen to your favorite song. Turn the volume up loud. Before you pick up the kids, sing all the lyrics at the top of your lungs and chair dance if you want to.
• Call your best girlfriend and share a funny memory.
• Do a random act of kindness for someone who can not return the favor, but a cup of coffee for the person behind you in line, pay a parking meter, give a McDonalds or Subway gift card to a homeless person.
• Send yourself a note or card - in the mail. 

Let go of the guilt and GLOW

I love what I do. I mean, I really love what I do.

An amazing thing happens when women get together, we build each other up. We support one another, we comfort one another, we encourage one another, we exchange advice, we commiserate by sharing similar experiences and the compliments flow. 

How often do you get compliments every day?

Ladies, we spend so much of our lives caring for all those around us. You know you do. And you know you should be taking care of yourself better, you know that "self care stuff" is something you should be doing, but because it's for you, you never get to it. And why is it that this falls off of your list every week? 

Because you feel guilty doing for yourself.

Add to this, every time you chat with your girlfriend - sometimes via text or facebook message - you promise that you have to get together sometime soon, it's been too long. We can't let it go this long again. And the exact same thing happens. You never get to it. And why? 

Because you feel guilty doing for yourself.

But this time, the guilt is a double whammy - you're damned if you do and damned if you don't because you feel guilty to "do for yourself" by making the time to spend with your girlfriend or you feel guilty for not keeping your promise to your girlfriend.

How can you win?

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. You need to take your self-care seriously. I have been thrilled to watch the "extreme self care" practice of Kelly O'Neil as she prepared for her amazing women's leadership conference. 

Take a stand for yourself. If your doctor said you had to make an appointment, you would. This is critical to your mental and physical well being. Say no to the guilt. Make a date with your favorite girls. Luxuriate in one another's company. Notice the glow each and every one of you has after spending time together.       

   
Did you know: when women get together they physically produce more of a chemical oxytocin which reduces stress. 

You know, you are getting important anti-oxidants by sharing that glass of wine.

So, let go of the guilt. Give your girlfriends a call, grab a bottle of wine and feel good for taking the best kind of care of yourselves.